On second thought, maybe I'll just get a traditional birthday card.

So while browsing CafePress for birthday cards - my go-to card shops have closed and burned down (not both at once; one lost its lease after 36 years, the other burned down in a suspicious fire), and there's never anything good at the drug store, so as with everything else I shop for, I've turned to the internet - and saw a guy who made some cute alphabet cards. I thought "that art is sort of cute, maybe I should get one of those!" So I went to see what letter "J" (the card is for a girl named Jessa) looked like.

Like this, as it turns out:

I ended up getting a card with a kitten on it. Less likely to cause nightmares, I think.