Sunday, May 30, 2010

I don't like the expression of the one on the right.

He's going to lure me through a mirror into some weird land I'll never escape from. I just know it.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

I guess clowns riding unicorns is A Thing.

One was weird enough, but two?? Who buys these things?!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white

Just don't turn your back, because she will bite...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Monday, May 24, 2010

100th post!

Thanks to my three readers! It's even more fun blogging knowing that there's someone out there reading it! In honor of this special day, I thought I'd post the picture that started my obsession with creepy clown images. I saw it years upon years ago and it stayed in my head all that time, until I just had to track it down again. In the meantime, the collection had begun to flourish. May I present to you the clown that started it all:

I don't know who he is or if he knows that his teeth chased me in my nightmares literally for a decade or more. All I know is that the picture is from an unnamed Milwaukee newspaper and is terrifying.

So whatever you think of my blog, remember: it's this guy's fault.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Friday, May 21, 2010

She wore blue velvet...

...bluer than velvet was her eye...shadow?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Never take candy from strangers.

Seriously, just don't. You'll never know what you're getting.

This amazing piece is from regretsy. Alarmingly, it's one in a series. I recall one done with butterscotch discs, another in Tootsie Rolls that felt vaguely golliwog-esque.

I have to admit, I think it's a great concept and actually looks pretty good. But it's still a clown. And what happens when those gumballs get stale and crack and start shedding bits of sugar crap everywhere?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Death has never looked so delicious.

To whoever ordered this cake: I salute you. I hope it was indeed a happy, clown-less birthday.

Monday, May 17, 2010

There are so many things wrong with this image...

But the worst is that this appears to be hanging in an art gallery. I'm hoping it's a MOBA exhibit, because that's the only place - aside from a dumpster - this thing belongs.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I'd hit it.

With a fist!, that wasn't a lame attempt at humor. That's what you're supposed to do with this thing.

You can buy this piece of awesomecake at

You might be asking yourself, what is this picture from?

A horror movie, perhaps, or a cartoon series aimed at older kids, perhaps even young adults.

Wrong. Try that paragon of innocence The Brave Little Toaster.

Friday, May 14, 2010


Apparently these horrid clown banks are highly collectible. Wish I'd known that when I saw one for cheap not long ago. Eh, it wouldn't have been worth it. My apartment would have been forever tainted.

I'm kind of liking the paint thinner bottle behind him though.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The camera loves you, baby!

God I hope this isn't from someone's amateur porn collection.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Laughing all the way to the bank.

...right, as if anyone ever laughed at a clown.

The way the eyes roll back into the head is fucking terrifying. I keep expecting Pazuzu's voice to roar out of my computer speakers.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Clowns have been evil since the dawn of time, I see.

I'm 99% sure that this pic came from Thrift Horror. Antique clowns are even worse than modern clowns, it seems. Yikes.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I call them Baldy and Red. Too bad Vaudeville is dead - they sound like a great duo.

I suspect he ripped the doll's hair off and stuck it on his own head.

(I'm also just noticing the Peter Rabbit plate next to the clown. Holy cow, I want it! It would be so cute with my babyhood Bunnykins dish set.)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

What would Freud say?

Between the shape and the concerned expression, I'm concerned about what this is meant to be used for.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

I'm going to go out an a limb and say that S isn't the favorite child.

Unless this is exactly the cake S Hunt wanted, in which case...kid, you're awesome, and I hope your big 1-0 was, too.

(I can't swear to it, but I would be willing to bet that this picture is courtesy of Cake Wrecks.)

Friday, May 7, 2010

The obesity epidemic:

Apparently, it's also striking clowns.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Heffalump, Woozle or pink elephant on parade?

This reminds me ever so much of something that would be in a classic Disney film hallucination. Something Dumbo would see while drunk, or Pooh would see when he's...tripping balls, or whatever it is he does to get to that hellscape inhabited by Heffalumps and Woozles.

As mad as a hatter

and way scarier than anything Tim Burton could dream up.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

My sandwich tastes funny...

What part of the clown does this come from?

Monday, May 3, 2010

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Horrible trays as a diet aid?

I don't think I've ever seen pure evil captured so precisely in paint. I know I've lost my appetite.