DUCK!

Or is that a goose? I don't know waterfowl. I guess it must be a goose, because why would a duck need an umbrella?

Yipes! Stripes!

Such an odd thing. It looks so wide-eyed and innocent, but you can totally picture it going all Zuni doll on some poor unsuspecting family one night. I can, anyway.

Want a balloon, little girl?

photo by Joshua Hoffine.

Ernest Borgnine as a clown.

No, that's not a snarky comment in some way. It's...a picture of Ernest Borgnine as a clown.

I apparently found this on the website of a woman named Pam, aka "Snickers the Clown," as that's who this is all addressed to. I didn't ask before taking the picture, and I haven't any idea where her site might be that I might ask (there are plenty of clowns who go by "Snickers," apparently, as I see a bunch on Google, and Pam's full name only brings up the usual stuff.)




Pam seems to be doing well in her work, so props to her, and Borgnine seems like a class act to send such a personal response. But goddamn, the guy makes a scary-ass clown.

I can haz waaaahmbulance?

Sigh. Apparently the fucking Cheezburger network has started a site like mine. I don't know why this bugs me - it's not like creepy clowns are an unusual subject - but it makes me feel like I shouldn't even bother. It's going to be a real bitch finding material that isn't featured there before I can post it here. I dunno, I've always been bothered by the rapid expansion of that site network - it always reminded me of WalMart crushing little mom 'n pop stores. Bigger selection, sure, but no character or personal touch. Just a bunch of nameless drones piling product on the shelves.

Yeah, I take the internet too seriously. And, I mean, I LIKE the lolcats and whatnot. And I have all of three followers, so it's not like this site is significant, BUT. At the same time...goddammit, I have a passion for scary clowns. While there wasn't much chance at this site becoming the next Regretsy or Cake Wrecks, at least I felt like I was sharing something I enjoyed with the world. (You know, all three of you.) Now there's a bigger, better place to get your scary clown fix. And that makes me a little sad.

It goes nicely with the horrible clown bed.

There is nothing on this earth that would make me sit on a clown's lap.



Also, the expression combined with the shape of the chair...is it me, or does it look like it's taking a big ole clown dump?

You magnificent bastard, I salute you!

I am sadly no longer the biggest Simpsons nerd I've heard of. Because someone appears to have made a replica of this:



for their CAT:



Or so it would appear. I don't know the real story here, and I guess I don't want to - I don't think anything could top someone making Bart's clown bed for their kitty.

It might take you a minute to find the clown here.

There are a bunch of weird creepy things in this frame.



I've never seen a clown play the cello before. Unless it's meant to be a fiddle and the "artist" just has a poor sense of scale.

And yet it's still not as bad as the Fantastics

I mean, sure, it's horrible and an unholy shade of red-orange, but at least it doesn't sing an obnoxious, airheaded jingle that gets stuck in your head for hours on end. I mean, that's something. And for all its ill-advised advertising, Fanta is pretty damn tasty.

That was a hoot!

Well, I suffered through Daria for you people; now I'm braving another miserable front of nostalgic greatness.

Recognize this sad crying clown in an iron lung?

Goooooallllll! or something.

I couldn't give less of a fuck about all this soccer crap, but since everyone else in the world is into it, here's my contribution.





"Enjoy."

You're standing on my neck.

First of all, apologies to both of my readers: I haven't been able to sit down and do anything internet-related in a couple of weeks, save for a few email/comment checks.

What I was able to do, though, was finally spend some time with my Daria DVDs. Did anyone not love that show?! I loved it, everyone I knew growing up loved it, everyone I've met in my adult life who grew up in the USA loved it, my 35-years-my-senior father loved it...it was just a damn good show. At least until Tom showed up. God, I hated him. But I digress.

Watching season five was the most interesting for me, since those episodes were the ones rarely if ever aired on The N during my adulthood, so I hadn't seen them in ages. In fact, I'd forgotten that Art Burn, the episode in which Jane paints copies of famous works of art for profit, had ever existed. (In my defense, I was quite a bit older than the target audience in the later seasons - although I swear originally Daria was older than I was! I guess that's how cartoon characters are; they can age however you want them to.)

Anyway (I swear, I have a point), there's a scene where Daria and Tom (grr) go to support Jane at a local art fair, making snarky comments about other peoples' art as they go.





It's amazing how clowns turn up everywhere once you start a blog dedicated to them.